Arranged marriages are still the norm in India, although the process has changed a bit in at least some parts of India with advances in technology and western ideas of falling in love and selecting your own spouse. Many families place advertisements in newspapers to find a potential spouse for their son or daughter. The larger newspapers have a whole section dedicated to matrimonial ads in the Sunday edition. The ads, which are similar to the personal ads in US newspapers, include information about age, height, looks (fair, handsome, beautiful, slim,) religion, caste, intelligence, education of potential spouse or father seeking spouse for son/daughter, type of employment of potential spouse or father seeking spouse for potential son/daughter, and city or village. One ad seeking a wife desired a “homely or working class girl.”
Who has input or makes the decision in the selection of the husband or wife varies from family to family. In Agra we stayed with a family that was searching for a wife for the oldest son, about 28 years old. The family put an ad in the local newspaper and in just one day after the ad was printed, the family received almost 30 phone and email responses. Quite a few of the responses were made directly by the potential bride, rather than her father or mother. After a few days the young man and his mother planned to narrow down the list and set up a time to visit with each potential bride still on the list. The son, who lives with his parents, has an MBA and runs his own export business, wants an attractive and intelligent wife. The mother feels that it is very important that she and the bride get along. Her mother-in-law has never liked her and that has caused friction in the family. She wants the situation to be better for her oldest son.
The youngest son has already fallen in love with a young lady he met in college and his parents like and approve of her. , As a result, no search or traditional marriage arrangement will be made for him. He would like to get married, but the oldest son needs to marry first. So the search is on for a wife for Shiron.